Is it insane to spend so much money on a wedding?

by Isabelle on September 15, 2008

budpepsoo asked:

I am currently planning my own wedding and realising that it really is expensive! Even if your planning a low key budget style wedding.
This one day is looking like it’s going to cost me around $20,000! I’m planning on only having one wedding in my lifetime, But my god it’s expensive it’s no wonder brides want everything to be perfect!
Oh we already own 2 houses and we’ll be paying in cash that we’ve been saving we wouldn’t be taking out any loans or anything!
Most of the money is from a standard wedding package at a resort!

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{ 37 comments }

SoccerGirl16 September 16, 2008 at 9:41 pm

That is a little on the high end!!!!!

sillybear2504 September 18, 2008 at 2:38 am

$20,000!! That’s insane!! Go for something you like but not too expensive, Just think of all the other things you can do with the extra cash. Honeymoon, Down payment on a new house, new car, plan for a baby!!
But then again that’s just me!!

diana s September 19, 2008 at 9:31 am

yes i thinks so, unless u have a lot of money, or u really love him, or you just want it to be special

norakelly29@yahoo.com September 20, 2008 at 11:23 am

no need to spend all that a simple ceremony and then a nice honeymoon and a downpayment on a home or a new car might serve you both better

my2cents793 September 22, 2008 at 12:08 am

it’s your wedding. Don’t let it ruin your credit. Personally, I would have a small wedding and keep the money to buy a house.

Anyway, congrats. Hope the marriage lasts.

aiken877 September 22, 2008 at 9:01 pm

Dont get married….

Sweetgirl September 23, 2008 at 11:01 pm

Blissfully Insane
Carry on !!!

miraclehand2020 September 26, 2008 at 11:03 am

Please control the spending.The bills left behind could torpedo the marriage.What a thoughtful woman,You would make a great wife and mother,Bravo!

Ambivalence September 27, 2008 at 7:03 am

Yeah, I think a lot of businesses charge twice as much for anything wedding related, too, compared to a similar thing they would sell that’s not wedding-related.

jillybilly September 30, 2008 at 5:01 am

It is really disgusting. If you have your say in your family,have a simple wedding and then throw a party for your relatives and friends.

powerplayer_11 October 3, 2008 at 3:24 am

depends on how many more times u gonna get married..if u plan on marry once then i dont think you have to look the expenses..its once in a lifetime..just let it loose..
if more than once..i prefer not to spend that much..i hope i make sense..

ideaquest October 5, 2008 at 11:20 pm

If you have a gift coordinator, you can relay the message that monetary gifts are welcome instead of physical presents. Your relatives’ and friends’ contribution can help greatly to defray the overall cost, which can be quite high. Since it is a once-in-a-lifetime event, it is good to make it memorable but of course, work within your means.

uruniamme October 6, 2008 at 10:18 pm

spend money where you think its worth
where u will enjoy
u must set yr priorities
and as u feel its insane, it is
enjoy

chp 1 Tramp Hallow October 7, 2008 at 10:47 am

I don’t think 20,000 is alot of money. i heard of 75,000 or more. If you can afford it. Go for it. nothing is cheap anymore. congratulations on your up coming wedding.

Aimee October 7, 2008 at 9:23 pm

Yes, that’s insane. What if later on down the road you got divorced? Thinking about blowing all that money on a wedding that didn’t last will make anyone sick. You can buy a car for the price of what you want to spend on a wedding. If I were your parents, I’d make you finance this yourself. Cut the budget back. Even $10,000 is a bit much. Just have a simple wedding and blow the rest on an awesome honeymoon.

keepyourhandsoffmycat October 10, 2008 at 12:19 am

You are lucky to be in a good situation. That sounds reasonable to me, it’s not too much to pay I don’t think. Good luck!

Paula L October 10, 2008 at 2:50 am

Hello,

I found your question interesting…

The number you gave is actually the national average for a wedding, however weddings can be done for a lot less…

The first thing I’d suggest is to look at the number of guest you are planning on having… remember the more guest the more money…

There are also other ways to cut your costs…

Have a breakfast reception, it cost less than dinner and many things (muffins, danish, fruit) you can get from Sam’s and you can either set up yourself or hire some catering staff to set up for you

Is there a local garden or park that you could use for the ceremony? Often city parks are a minimal fee to reserve so you can spend $50/$100 instead of $1000 -$2000 for a venue

Is your backyard(or parents’ or a friend’s) big enough to accomodate everybody… we just had my sister’s wedding at my parent’s house all 300+ people…

Use your own car and just hire a driver or ask a friend to drive you guys instead of renting a limo

If you want to cut money on your cake actually go to your local store and order white iced cupcakes… top with something special to your wedding (monogram charm, edible flowers, irridescent sprinkles to match your colors, etc) and arrange on a stand (you can build/assmble a from almost anything in almost any shape)

The key is to make what you can/are comfortable with and pick a theme and carry it through everything…

I have soo many other ideas that I couldn’t attempt to list them all here…

When is your wedding date? I would love to know how it goes… and CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement…

skunk pie October 13, 2008 at 3:12 am

If you have the money to burn, you may as well because it’s not like people care about community anymore. I think you’re a greedy capitalist, not insane.

Erika M October 15, 2008 at 7:59 pm

not to me my wedding is going to be way over the top.

Countrygirl October 17, 2008 at 1:14 pm

If you want to pay for all your friends and family to have a good time, that is up to you- I would cut back and invest half the money- You will have a family someday that money can take You and your family on a great trip you will never forget. Spending that much on a wedding I feel is a waist,Yes the cost has gotten out of hand these days- But someone can still have a great together with less…
ENJOY IT- DO NOT STRESS IT

Ms. X October 20, 2008 at 7:17 am

Fortunately you can afford it. Only you can figure out the answer to your question. Picture it’s the next day, and you had a fabulous wedding the day before, yet have $20,000 less in your account. Was it worth the expense? Or do you wish you had gone to a justice of the peace or a restaurant and still had the money?

ageless in my 'genes' October 23, 2008 at 11:51 am

My entire wedding cost $250. my dress was beautiful and cost $30. I had about 50 people in a lovely garden on private property in the wonderful Sonoma County Wine country. There are ways to have a beautifully romantic wedding without that expense. $20,000 is way too much and a waste of money.

princess October 24, 2008 at 2:01 am

that’s so expensive wedding i tell you … yeah, only once … but it’s so in practical.

you can have a Beautiful wedding in less expensive way but not that much.

Try to seek help with other wedding planner to reduce your cost and try to search on the net for some advises where to go and where to find a less expensive details for your wedding.

lucely171 October 25, 2008 at 10:55 am

why dont you spend that money in your honeymoon better????

bats October 28, 2008 at 4:40 pm

Be practical although weddings happens once in a lifetime so you should make it worth remembering but not that costly…There are many ways to make your dream wedding come true without overspending…You can use your extra money in starting your new married life…

TeSSa October 30, 2008 at 3:45 pm

You seem to be rich…so why not?

Danyal November 2, 2008 at 8:47 pm

I don’t think so. I spent almost that much on my wedding 4 years ago. I am not a rich person but I saved up just for my wedding, and thank god we also own 2 houses now.
AND YOU KNOW What I never regretted it. Till this day all my friends and family tell me that my wedding was the best. And now even our toddler enjoys watching my wedding video. Go for it and make sure to have fun.
congratulations!

sparkleythings_4you November 4, 2008 at 5:04 am

It sounds like you are already set up with houses etc, and as you have been saving up then why not spend that money if you can afford it? I know we would have done exactly that if we had our own house already and had that cash saved up (not that I regret having a small wedding) so I’d say go for it!

fumetsu November 4, 2008 at 7:58 pm

That money would be put to better use on a Killer honeymoon and then a down payment on a house. If I’m going to go into that much dept I’d like to spend it on something that might retain some resale value. I would compare spending that much money on a wedding to Flushing it down a toilet.

Lydia November 7, 2008 at 6:39 pm

No, not if you two can afford it, and are planning a lovely day! Ours was 25k for hosting a very traditional wedding for 200 guests, nothing fancy-dancy, either. It’s just what it costs. We saved through our engagement, and just handled the cost.
But don’t go for ‘perfect’ – you’ll never get there.

melouofs November 8, 2008 at 8:34 am

The average American wedding does cost $25-30,000! That’s just how it is! I know it’s a ton of money, but….ours will be a little more than that, but we figure we’ll never have another, and we both waited so long to get married (we’re 38) and we can afford to have the kind of wedding we want, so why not? You can always earn more money–you can’t have another wedding day.

corinne1029 November 9, 2008 at 12:46 am

Yes, it’s insane, but $20,000 is about average. I’m aiming for mine to fall under $10,000. If you’ve got the money to spend, I say go for it. Even if you do have another wedding later, it’s not likely to be as big or elaborate as your first one.

By the way, if you’re looking to cut your budget, invite fewer people. It’s the easiest way to cut your costs.

loki_only1 November 11, 2008 at 5:07 pm

Depending on the part of the country you live in, thats on the low end. (In others its high, so you’re about medien)

I agree, its absolutely INSANE how much people shell out for a single day, but its a big day, and the memories and blah blah blah.

As long its not putting you in a financal bind, and you feel you’ve done everything in your power to cut cost and still get everything you want. Have the wedding of your dreams, no regrets!

mums_the_word November 14, 2008 at 10:18 pm

well… sadly… in the area i live in, the average cost of a wedding with a guest list of about 150-200 is 25,000…. and i’m not exactly rolling in money here, and my family ALONE is about 90 people… so needless to say i am SCREWED.

i’m hoping my wedding won’t cost me anything more than 25,000. i’m saving up every cent i can, so is my HTB and we plan on putting money into high-interest accounts and CDs to make the most of it.

save up as much as you can. good luck.

Bill November 15, 2008 at 8:15 am

It’s ridiculous, yes.

Jess November 17, 2008 at 8:48 pm

I know 20000 seems like a lot of money, but it goes DAMN quick, at least for a standard wedding, assuming you’re not cutting corners to make it less expensive.

Let’s say you’re having 100 people. which is not a too too large wedding, as you are supposed to invite everyone you are related to and then some to your wedding.

Deposit for the hall: at least $500 (running total: 500)
at 40/plate (which is actually on the lower end of midrange): 4,000 (rt: 4500)
Cake: $300 (yeah. really. I’m paying 100 for a cake for 50 people and that was the cheepest wedding cake I could find) (rt: 4800)
Perperson costs: $1400 (including invites, thank you cards, favors etc) (rt: 6200)
Flowers: depending on how much your’e doing, but for NOT decorating with flowers about 200 (rt: 6400)
Limo: $300 including tip (rt: 6700)
Getting pretty: $300 (facial, makeup, hair, men’s haricut, nails etc, inc tip) (rt: 7000)
Dress: including all the other crap you need for it (bra, jewlery stockings etc) 1000 (rt: 8000)
Rings: 1500 (rt: 9500)
DJ/ MC: 1000 not kidding. (rt: 10,500)
Photographer: 500 (rt: 11,000)
Various fees: (JP, organist, etc) 500 (rt: 11,500)

So…. 11,500 and I’m probably missing some stuff.

iloveweddings November 19, 2008 at 10:05 pm

Hi. I totally agree. There is a book called, “The Price One Perfect Day.” It talks about the wedding industry and how they have geared brides to say….”I have to have this, and I have to have that.” Personally, I have not read the book, but I know from research that in the U.S. alone, the bridal industry is raking in billions and billions each year! Can you imagine worldwide what the figure is?

I also recently read that by the year 2012, the average U.S. wedding will be around $35,000. That is staggering.

I hope you have a beautiful day!!!

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