Kay asked:
My best friend is getting married, and i am very excited for her becuase he’s just perfect for her. But, she’s always talked about me being a bridemaid at her wedding, and didn’t ask me. She says it’s because of family obligations. She has her 3 sisters, (one who doesn’t agree with the wedding) in the wedding party, the grooms older sister, and she has a younger cousin as a junior bridemaid. Does she just not have the room for me? Also, she’s always asked for my input before on everything, but she shows no interest of discussing her ‘perfect’ wedding with anyone but the groom. Is there some part of the wedding her best friends can be involved in even if we don’t get to help with any planning? We offered to throw her a bacholorette party, but she said her maid of honor (and sister, who doesn’t know any of her friends) said that is her territory. Can we be involved in anything other than just showing up on the wedding date?
Ultimate Guide To Baby Gender Selection
My best friend is getting married, and i am very excited for her becuase he’s just perfect for her. But, she’s always talked about me being a bridemaid at her wedding, and didn’t ask me. She says it’s because of family obligations. She has her 3 sisters, (one who doesn’t agree with the wedding) in the wedding party, the grooms older sister, and she has a younger cousin as a junior bridemaid. Does she just not have the room for me? Also, she’s always asked for my input before on everything, but she shows no interest of discussing her ‘perfect’ wedding with anyone but the groom. Is there some part of the wedding her best friends can be involved in even if we don’t get to help with any planning? We offered to throw her a bacholorette party, but she said her maid of honor (and sister, who doesn’t know any of her friends) said that is her territory. Can we be involved in anything other than just showing up on the wedding date?
Ultimate Guide To Baby Gender Selection
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{ 9 comments }
The bride has a lot to do with her wedding party already quite large (5 bridesmaids is a lot). Family obligations are important. Friends understand, but family wont so she had to choose them.
Just tell her, if there is anything she needs help with, you would love to help out! And leave it at that. She will let you know.
Maybe she really doesn’t have room for you as a bridesmaid. If she chose you, maybe the groom didn’t have anyone to pick to stand up on his side. I mean 5 bridesmaid’s is a lot, to me anyways. Weddings are usually all about family. Some people consider weddings a way too see the rest of the family.
Every bachelorette party i’ve been to has been thrown by the maid of honor, so I wouldn’t take it personally.
People get very strange about weddings. And family expectations can often pull them in directions away from what they really want.
I would suggest that you just relax about it. If she says it’s about family obligations, then just take her at her word. If you push the issue you will only add to her stress and possibly destroy your friendship.
Don’t worry about it. It’s her wedding, not yours. Just play whatever role she wants you to play, even it is only a guest role. That way she will enjoy her wedding and when it is over you will still be friends.
She probably couldn’t ask one family member without asking them all to be her bridesmaids. I know your feelings are probably hurt, but don’t be pushy with her. Just act relaxed and supportive, and I am sure there will be something that will come along that you can help her with.
She may have had her heart set on her family being in her wedding party since she was young. In fact, be thankful because you just got out of buying a dress and having to worry about the bridal shower.
Things you can volunteer to do:
~Hand out bulletins
~Pass out birdseed/bubbles/balloons
~Read scripture during the service
~Sing while the guests are being seated
~Offer to deliver her car to the reception site
~Help make favors
~Help decorate the reception hall
~Do the bride’s make-up/hair
It is hard to say. I am getting married in October. My fiance and I are on a tight budget. I only have two bridesmaides. One is my sister who is my Matron of Honor, and then one of my best friends. Fiance has only one best man picked out so far. lol. Between the both of us we have 6 kids together. We will have 3 flower girls, and 1 ring bearer. Because his son does not want to wear a “monkey suit” as he puts it. I would sit down with your friend and ask her whats up? Or dont worry about it. Especially if your friendship means alot to you. You dont want to get upset at each other over something minor.
my advice to you is….. DO NOT GO TO HER WEDDING!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT GO TO THE BEFORE SHE GETS MARRIED SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET HER A CRAPY GIFT!!!!!!!!!. you are only her friend when no one else will do. how do i know this? been there. People are full of shit when it comes to the nitty gritty. When it starts to fuck up, your phone will ring. Sorry for the negitive, but I will be HAPPY to be proven wrong.
I think i know how your friend feels. I have 3 best friends and due to family obligations cant have them as bridesmaids even though i would love to. Just try and be supportive of your friend, if her MOH wants to organise her party and you and her other friends dont get invited, speak to her about the possibility of having another for friends?? and make sure your friend knows that if she needs help with anything you are there. As for her not discussing the details with you, and planning everything with the groom, i am the same, i have organised everything with my fiance as its our big day and its more important that i share the planning with him than my friends if you know what i mean? Its a stressful time trying to keep everyone else happy when you are getting married!!!
I know it probably hurt you, since she is your best friend, but just be reassured that sometimes family will be put first. I actually think this ends up happening quite often. You know your friend, and I’m sure you are aware that if she could have put you in, she would have. I’m also assuming that she probably would have chosen you above the disapproving sister anyday if negative consequences wouldn’t have resulted.
There are so many things that she will need help with, so just be there for her, offering to help out with anything she needs. She will compare what you’ve done to the help she gets from her family. And not that you are attempting to “show anyone up” or anything like that, but she will see who is doing what and will greatly appreciate your help.
Also, you and your friends could think about throwing her a small shower. I’m sure her family may be doing one, but many couples have multiple showers. Other than that, just be there for her and try not to take it personally that you were not asked — she probably could not have left out a family member without hearing about it for the rest of her life. Take care.
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